No Bunnies Here

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:48:59 GMT

Ahhh...the hubby is napping so I am stealing a moment from the massive pile of student files on my desk. We're settling into the home thing and life is a little less hectic. I'm sitting down more and eating so it's getting normal.

We get a nurse visit a couple times a week -- mostly to check on the pressure sore in my hubby's leg. I have clear directions for treating it and it's going well. The hubby's plumbing is showing signs of coming back online so that will be good...both because naturally is the best way to do anything and because seeing someone catheterize himself creeps me out to the millionth degree. Plus it has been horrible trying to get the supplies we need and insurance is not going to pay for them -- what a pain.

We get a physical therapist three times a week and that will be helpful for getting Mark back on his feet. I saw him stand up yesterday without a walker and stand totally on his own -- it's the first time he's done that. So -- wow. It was an overwhelmingly emotional moment. He can't walk without the walker yet but he stood...and that's fantastic.

He has gotten all my questionable bookkeeping sorted out since he got home...which has actually helped him feel productive and back on top of things. Life is pretty good.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:15:21 GMT

Ahhh....I am sitting. I know I am sitting because nothing is hurting really loud. We're pretty much situated now. I'm still trying to find a way to get my beloved to Dr. visits. So far, not easy. I had high hopes for the senior van which does help folks who aren't seniors, but you have to be disabled. Now, my husband can't walk without a walker and not far with one. And he can't climb stairs. But TECHNICALLY, he isn't disabled which means something totally different than "can't walk." So they can't help us, though the director sounded honestly sad about it.

There are livery services which apparently are blindingly expensive...but it looks like we'll have to call one. When you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice. I'm glad the wild child and I have lived very frugally for the last couple months because we do have the money for a while. It's another time, though, where it's frustrating to live so far from home. I wouldn't have to look for livery services back home -- I had family and friends. But, really, the neighbors have just been above and beyond the call of duty here and I need to stop being so whiny.

I'm going to have to learn to juggle more judiciously. On Sunday, I never sat down. Not once, except the brief times of getting on the floor in order to do something for my husband. Yesterday, I couldn't find time to eat until supper. I know other folks manage to do the "stuff" of taking care of one gimpy guy and one almost-9-year old girl and STILL sit down on ocassion and eat meals. I just haven't found that spot yet.

We bought another air conditioner yesterday. The heat was making my dearest sick after a couple months of scrupulously conditioned air. Now the house isn't cool...but it's not nasty hot anymore. So that's nice. Air conditioners in big boxes are mean (by the way). I have a nasty bruise where this one bit me...pinching my geezette-like forearm between the edge of the store cart and the very heavy carton. Ouch. It's kind of pretty colors though.

But, my husband sounds like his old self and looks like his old self except for the leg things. I can hug him any time I want all day long. And he's in the bed, hogging the sheet at night just like he's supposed to be. Last night he hugged me and I flashed back to the time in May when I wondered if he would ever hug me again and I just cried. The work of NOW is temporary...but missing him came so close to being permanent. I can handle anything as long as we move ahead together.

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 12:01:03 GMT

My husband is home...home...home. In fact, he's in his office chair right next to mine. It's very nice. In fact, I had to work not to cry a couple times. Now, as it turns out, you cannot use a wheelchair in most of our house. It's a tiny house and I like that it's a tiny house but one of the things it has is a narror hallway. And with concentration, he can wheel down the hallway but you flatly cannot then turn the wheelchair. So you can go down the hall and look into the rooms but you can't *get* into the room.

So, we're using the office chair as a wheelchair for the back half of the house. Which works fine and allows him to get into all the rooms though locomoting it is challenging. Oh well, you do what you have to do.

Yesterday was wicked hot here and that made him feel kind of rotten after 2 and half months in the comfortable air conditioning. Even our small bedroom which HAS an air conditioner wasn't cool...though it wasn't hot either. More warmish.

The ride home from the hospital was fun. We brought home a lot of equipement -- wheelchair, shower chair, commode, walker and neither the shower chair nor the commode fold. So they had to go in the backseat upside down while the wheelchair and walker went in the trunk. Unfortunately, I needed to go in the back seat. So I sat on the upsidedown shower bench. The bottom of a shower bench isn't smooth or flat (in case you ever wondered). And it raised me off the seat enough that the ceiling of the car was mashing my head. And the shower seat back was eating up my leg room. So I twisted around to get into the available space and felt exactly like the Alice in Wonderland illustration where she's twisted up inside the rabbit's house after an unfortunate growing incident. Then I rode like that...for about an hour and a half (we hit traffic).

I don't recommend that position...especially for folks over forty.

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:19:20 GMT

I went to see my sweetie today so I could practice taking him over curbs in the wheelchair and helping him when he needs it with the walker (mostly in using it around the bathroom). I also saw proper wound care for the one pressure/friction sore he has left (he'd gotten one on his leg from some boot things he had to wear for a while). And I got to see him walk -- which was wonderful all by itself. He's coming home on Saturday and I'm very excited. He's been through a lot but he's come a long way and still improving every day. I'm so grateful.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:58:44 GMT

We're finally into the single digits before my honey comes home. I hope I'll still be able to keep all my juggling going when I add in the things he'll need. Though, even if it's tough, it'll be a good tough. He's walking some with the walker now in therapy so he won't be totally wheelchair dependent when he gets home. And he tires easily but his strength will build over time.

I'm going to see him on Monday and he gave me a list of things he needs me to do. Now I just have to find someone who wants to go on errands with me. People all around CT are getting caller ID just so I'll stop asking for favors :-)

Well, gotta run. Just wanted to let the family know he's up on the walker and walking. Real walking now. He's done with the parallel bars and this last week at the hospital is mostly going to be spent walking with the walker. He'll be coming home with a wheelchair, a walker, a slideboard...and something else. I can't remember...anyway, all sorts of stuff. I hope my nephew has a good big trunk.

Well...now really back to work.

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 12:32:56 GMT

This morning I Googled to look for a Lao-Tzu quote that I always liked and wanted to put on a board, but I wanted to get the wording nicely. And it amazed me how many people had put it on "quote lists" backwards. The quote goes roughly like this...

"To be deeply and truly loved gives you strength; but to love someone deeply gives you courage."

I thought of this quote often in July and just how true it was. During the month of July when my beloved came so very close to death, I borrowed strength from the well given me by being deeply loved. I knew my husband loved me. My sister rushed to help me -- at considerable sacrifice -- because she loves me and that also gave me strength. I gained strength from the compassion and loving acts of those around me. Without being loved, I do not know how I could have gotten through it all.

Folks said I was brave and if I was ever brave (and the jury is out on that one) it's because I love my husband deeply. Loving someone gives you courage because it requires courage. I wouldn't have needed courage if I didn't love so deeply, but by needing it, I was forced to rise to meet it.

I know courage isn't something I go looking for a chance to demonstate. I'm not thrill seeker. Seeing circus acts live gives my stomach the gollywobbles and I'm not even doing anything dangerous. I'm a big chubby scaredy cat...but during July my husband and my daughter needed me to be brave. And so my love for them demanded courage. And courage rose to meet it because you do what you have to do.

So, at the risk of rewriting Lao-Tsu...

"To be deeply and truly loved gives you strength; but to love someone deeply demands courage."

Having been there, I stand by that.

I just found out that Sue Alexander died. I didn't know her, though anyone in SCBWI knows of her. I am relatively certain I exchanged emails with her once through the course of all the emailing I do. Her death was sudden -- practically the middle of a sentence actually. I wish courage for all who loved her. I'm sorry to hear she's gone. The world needs more kind-hearted small feisty woman.

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:16:43 GMT

Well, the neighbor boy from across the street finished the wild thing's playscape yesterday, so I went to WalMart and bought a little blow-up wading pool...the tiny kind. And I put it at the bottom of the big long slide on this playscape. And I rig the hose to trickle down the slide. Then wild thing spent hours sliding down and splashing into the kiddie pool. She was happy.

I talked to my beloved last night and he's doing well. Tomorrow the countdown to coming home will be exactly two weeks. I am so looking forward to it. Of course, I have piles of work to do until then and my work load won't exactly get lighter. But none of that really matters. He'll be home and I'm glad.

Now, I have to be honest. Normally, I do not like the Fourth of July. My sweetie always wants to have some outdoor event. And we set off fireworks, which means getting eaten up by mosquitoes and other ickies outside. I'm not an outdoor in the heat girl, can you tell? This year we're not doing any of that. I couldn't get fireworks and I wouldn't set them off anyway...I come from a state that spends most of it's time convincing folks that fireworks are deadly and sparklers can leap off the stick and burn your face off. So I'm not really comfortable with them.

Plus, it's planning to rain all day and night here today.

So the fourth is just a number...but it's one day closer to my honey being home so it's a good number.

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:12:38 GMT

I got to see my beloved yesterday and he's doing so super. He showed me how much he can move his legs and he's really learning how to be independent even during the healing process. I've missed him horribly since I had to miss last weekend because the wild child was sick so it was wonderful to get to see him. We went later in the day though so we wore him out by the time we left...I think he was glad to get to bed so it was a little less weepy for him when we left.

He said today he did some standing up and did really well with that, which is great because Monday's can be his off day after a weekend without therapy. Tommorrow starts July and we'll finally be in the month he's coming home. Yay!

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:13:05 GMT

I talked to my beloved last night and they did let him stand with the parallel bar thing and he did fantastic. It's a work out both for his legs and upper body. He didn't try walking with it, but he did stand in it a couple times. The therapist said she's sure he'll be walking with it next week. With the rig, it's really all him -- no slings or standing up support -- just what you can do. So he's doing great.

They're still talking about letting him come home July 19. It's still three weeks and I miss him so much. But it's getting closer.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:35:47 GMT

Yesterday my beloved walked 18 feet in his walking rig...which is pretty terrific. He says today they may let him try the parallel bar thing that you always see on tv shows where folks are learning to walk again. He can use his legs to heft himself partway out of the wheelchair. And so he's coming back steadily.

My neighbor, who is such a nice lady, is going to drive us to see my sweetie this Sunday so I'm so happy. I really thought it might be an awfully long haul until I saw him again. So, life is good overall.

The company my beloved works for is small and family owned. They pretty much operate year by year. Last year about this time, they warned everyone that it could be the last year for the company -- and they had to let a lot of folks go. This year, I got the same warning the other day. So it might close at the first of the year. Basically, if they don't get some contracts in...it will. And that will mean no job of my lovey after the first of the year unless we can find someone who wants to hire a skilled IT guy who is closer to 50 than 40 with no college degree -- and who had a near-death experience in 2008.

Basically, if you have a spare prayer for us in the job/work/contracts area...I'd appreciate it. Honestly, after almost losing Mark this year, it's hard to really scare me with anything.

YAWN!

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:45:53 GMT

Last night, my wildilina tried to have her first sleepover. Which involved all the kids in the neighborhood for a while (at first, I wasn't sure how that happened -- but then I found out I was the only one who actually allowed the Mongol hoarde INSIDE the house which is why I won such a stampede. I'm learning.). Finally, at about five, I ran out everyone but the sleepover girl and my daughter so they could do their "sleepover stuff."

Which they did...with lots of giggling, shrieking, shouting outside to the boys, changing clothes, running, wapping heads, more shrieking, and eating or almost eating a ton of stuff. Finally, they settled into the guestroom downstairs for about an hour. But the little girl decided it was too scary to be downstairs when I was upstairs (and, I suspect my wild child was telling her scary stories -- she's into scary stories lately). So they came back upstairs and "did hair" for a while in the living room while I put the guest room back in order. (shudder)

So the two of them crowded into the wild child's single loft bed...but they're pretty shrimpy girls so they were fitting okay. For about another hour. By then, I had wandered off to bed with a book. The girls burst into my room to announce they needed to sleep with me because our guest was still scared. Well, I saw the handwriting on the wall. Letting the two girls into my bed (monster sized though it is) would just postpone the "taking home" by another hour -- tops. And involve a lot of giggling, shrieking, and poking. So I just got up and took her home.

Wildilina was disappointed but I notice she is still asleep -- I wish I was. Our dear dear neighbor boy who is building wildilina's playscape (and to whom I am deeply grateful) wanted to get an early start on it and so started banging on my door around seven am. Goodie.

Not that seven is all that early. If Mark were home I would be up at 6:30 -- but he's not and I was up late and ... well...

yawn.
Today could be long.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:00:45 GMT

A mixed day today. My eyeballs are bulging from work. My wild thing is having a sleepover with ONE little girl, which seems to involve every child in the neighborhood running through the house at least once. It's been kinetic.

I got a call from my beloved this morning. He was standing. AND walking. Not in the "traditional" way exactly. They had him rigged up in a big ol' harness so his legs weren't exactly load bearing for the most part, but it's definitely on the way to walking.

It gave me joy. For sure.

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:33:47 GMT

I didn't get to go see my sweetie yesterday. My wee girlie had the pukies and (1) it would be so wrong to stuff a pukey child into a car and drive her more than an hour to visit someone in the hospital and (2) it would be wrong to leave her with a sitter. I know when I was a kid and was sick, no one but my mom was good enough. A little stomach bug might not be huge, but I'm sure it was to her.

Still, it hit me hard not to go see Mark. I'm certain we're at least at the halfway point on his recovery but the slog seems to be getting harder. I miss him. And -- honestly -- I'm getting a little worn out by single parenting. It's not that he....well, does that much parenting. I mean I do all the getting ready for bed, practicing the math drills, giving the bath and eczema treatments, etc...but I think it's the endless "responsibility." Somehow, even though I was just as busy "mommying" after Mark came home each day, I STILL felt some of the mental load lift. It's weird.

I did talk to him twice yesterday and he's continuing to improve daily. I wish I could take part in it, but...well, if wishes were horses, mine would be an Percheron.

Onward and upward.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:28:14 GMT

Saw my sweetie on Sunday. He looks good and we were able to wander around the hospital since he's no longer confined to the room. We went to the cafeteria and all had an ice cream. I think he liked the idea of getting to pick something -- just do something and not wait for them to do it. He hasn't had much independence lately. He showed me all the moving he could do in his legs and it was GREAT. And then when I talked to him last night, he could do even more. His legs are progressing great. His mind is crystal clear. He's working on his handwriting with the puzzle book I brought because that's still coming back. His computer is working now so he can be online when he's not in therapy so his spirits are really good. He's just homesick...which I can hardly blame him for since I'm Mark-sick.

He said yesterday one of the social workers came in and said the insurance wants me to start coming to his therapy sessions so I can see some of the exercises and such. Well, sure, be glad to...I don't suppose the insurance company is going to pay a livery service, 'cause I surely cannot. I'm getting ready to hit a three week maybe I won't see him at all stretch so I definitely won't be popping over for sessions even though I would, cheerfully. And I can't afford to just go rent something in Wallingford so I can stay there. We're doing okay with money but we won't be if I try something like that. We really aren't set up as a one-income family so I have to tred very carefully so I don't dig us into something we won't be able to get out of.

I shouldn't whine though. He's doing great and every day he has good things to share. He did have another bout of low blood pressure when they did the "standing frame" where they manually stand him up. He couldn't stand too long and that bummed him out, but he did a lot of other stuff great yesterday so he'll get there. And on weekdays his spirits are great because he's busy and the time passes quickly and he's seeing progress. It's Saturdays that really bum him out...though Sundays have been good since we come. One more Sunday for that.

I told him I try to think of all the wives who have husbands who go off to work for long stretches of time and it's part of their "normal" lives not to see each other for months. This is a one-time deal for us and I need to not be so mopey about it...but I can be.

Still my cup is definitely well over half full...we're good.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:23:13 GMT

"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say 'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."
-- Elwood P. Dowd

When I was a little girl, I saw Harvey and fell completely in love with Elwood P. Dowd. I didn't "get" everything in the movie but I totally understood that this was a person I could admire -- he had no problem with the taxing burden of reality and he was pleasant. I also spent a lot of time around folks who had difficulty accepting that reality and I weren't always on the best of terms. I had an imagination so vivid that the idea of seeing a giant rabbit that no one else could see simply wasn't that farfetched.

This morning, I had a chat with my daughter about being pleasant...and kind. Actually, I know life doesn't always rain candy dew drops on the pleasant. Sometimes you need to be a little fiesty. But I'm a stickler about kind. The world has far too much unkindness now and I wish I could say I'd lived a life without adding to it.

My daughter thinks she'd like to be popular. I told her that it's entirely possible that "popular" isn't available to her because people who spend as much time creating worlds in their head as she and I are rarely popular in school. Popularity requires much more attention to reality. But, you can be liked and you can have good friends who connect with you.

I told her she has the tools she needs -- she is bright, she has ideas that appeal to the other kids, and she's funny. All she needs on top of that is to be kind. She's an only child -- so bossy is much easier to come by than kind. But bossy doesn't leave room for the other kids and their ideas...and if you want them with you, you have to give them room.

Well, I get to see my honeybear tomorrow. I'll get to visit tomorrow, and then the next Sunday and may not see him again until he's ready to come home. And a week feels hard.

But, he will be coming home. That's what's important.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:23:37 GMT

I'm two days behind because I tend to be exhausted in the evening lately and during the day, I'm hustling to try to catch up with work. I have not caught up yet. I have a nice thick pile of work on my desk mocking me with it's undone-ed-ness.

But my honeybear is doing super great. He can lift his feet of the floor...not high but still, that's big. He's able to do a lot of side to side motion with his legs. He's doing tons of upperbody strengthing stuff. His unfortunate pooh issue is clearing up and he can get out of his room.

TODAY...he went outside for a while and it was a beautiful day for doing that. AND he took himself to the hospital library and used one of their computers to check his email. So, he is doing just spiffy. I wish I had suspected he would, I would have sent him a kissy kissy note. But that's okay.

So he's still getting better and we're still hanging tough here. All the work I'm getting in a blessing we aren't having any kind of money problem...though, eventually...we're could smack into some. But I'm not going to buy trouble from eventually. Right now, we're cool. Bills getting paid. Work getting steadily done. Plenty coming in. Honey getting better.

And tomorrow is wildilina's last day of third grade.
We're good. I hope you are too.

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:36:24 GMT

Another yay! post. My lovie was allowed out of his room today so he was able to do some tooling down the hall and rehab in the gym. The therapists said he is just doing amazing -- recovering really quickly. They think he'll be home considerably earlier than their earlier estimate. He was in great spirits and really not glum at all. I thought it would make him happy to get out of the room some and it did. He said it was pretty exhausting but that's what it's supposed to be. He's happy. And so am I.

The heat here was so beastly that it made my poor wildina pretty sick at school. They let the kids out early and she was able to cool down some at home and then play in the neighbor's pool. So she was good tired too at bedtime.

Now I'm heading off to bed...I'm always tired so that'll work. The exhausted family.

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:14:13 GMT

I talked to my lovie tonight and he was in good spirits. Physical therapy went very well this morning with positive comments both on how his left leg (his weaker leg) and his trunk muscles were coming along. He can hold himself upright now very well without support. They practiced the transfer from chair to commode (the one he fainted during last time) and it went very well today. Now all he has to do is whip this intestinal infection and he'll be going like gangbusters.

He tried to get his computer online again today and seems to be more proactive about stuff than he seemed yesterday so hopefully he'll get someone from IT up to his room tomorrow to see what the problem is and get it resolved so he can be online. I know that would make him feel better.

So he had a good day and seemed in really solidly good spirits which makes me very happy. I hate to see him sad...or hear him sad.

It's beastly hot today and I'm glad we have the AC in but my office gets unbearable by noon so my hours of work are a bit curtailled...but not like they were when I was spending so much time at the hospital.

Well, it's still far from cool in here so I think I'll shut down for the night and do some reading...so many books still waiting to be read.

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:52:28 GMT

We got to see Mark yesterday which was wonderful. He had shaved off his beard, sort of. You could tell he can't see it really well sitting down and he had tufts of hair. Plus his hair (what he has) had gotten long -- almost curls -- which he doesn't like. So I brought the clippers and buzzed his head super short and buzzed off all the patchy beard bits too. He looked positively dapper when I was done.

He wasn't supposed to leave the room because he has a bacterial infection causing icky-poo...and you're supposed to stay in your room if you have that. It's the logical end reaction of being hit with every antibiotic known to man in the hospital originally. He'll whip that this week sometime and should be able to tool around the hospital when we see him on Father's Day.

I left him some money because he's supposed to be able to have Diet Coke -- but only if he buys it (it won't be on his meal tray). And he does like Diet Coke. So once he can roll himself around, he can dash down to the cafeteria and get himself one whenever he wants.

His appetite has come back in a big way which is good -- he was barely eating anything at Backus. His blood sugar is still wonky but he'll be off the steroids soon and that should help.

He wants to come home of course, but he's definitely in better emotional control and didn't cry (though he got teary when it was time to go). He called me again last night too...I do like it when he calls. I'm hoping for a good week this week -- if he can overcome this poo infection, then he can go to the gym for some of his therapy, which he really wants to do. So I hope that happens soon.

His legs are definitely better and he could show me some real leg movement. A little at a time until he's all better -- that's what I want to see.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 11:08:55 GMT

Last night the wild child and I went to "Family Fun Night" at school -- which is a bit like a mini carnival and basket raffle. They had a nice turnout and the kids I saw seemed truly to be having fun. Wildilina decided she was far too old to hang out with me (which was fine, though it's the first year that she's felt that way so I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.)

I wandered around for a bit wishing I had a book, and then ended up running one of the games. I enjoyed running the game as the kids seemed to have fun playing it and it gave me something to do -- it was a lot like skeeball, only harder because of the way the thing was designed. The game booth was very old and a bit worn with sharp screws sticking out where you had to stick your hand to retrieve the balls that were thrown. I ended up with some nasty scratches, but no biggee after all, I had OFFERED to help -- I did have to get the original volunteer to man the booth while I got the bleeding stopped on the scratches because I was grossing out the kids.

At the end of the evening, one of the power people in the PTO asked me about the scratches. I wasn't looking for sympathy, it was my choice to offer to help out. But since she asked, I started to tell her something and I was about four words in to my smiling explanation when she turned away and started a conversation with another person -- not a "critical" conversation either, but more of a "I'm tired of listening to you" conversation.

This is the second time this person has done the EXACT SAME THING -- asked me a question that required an answer, allowed me to start to answer and then turned her face away from me to begin a conversation with someone else. The rudeness of that is a bit startling and annoying. I'm not clamoring for attention and I don't chatter in public. But I don't mumble or meander either so there's no reason why waiting out my 10 or 12 word answer would be burdensome especially for someone who asked the question in the first place.

I've seen her be passive aggressive with folks before but I don't know why I turned into a target for it. I'm not interested in usurping her "power" so there's little value in "putting me in my place." And I really don't have the energy for this kind of rudeness. It's too bad too because the PTO was looking for good author visits for next year and I know a lot of writers and illustrators and could have recommended some folks I've heard, but since an author visit discussion was one of the two she interrupted to talk to someone else -- well, I didn't get to make any suggestions EVEN THOUGH SHE'D ASKED FOR THEM at a PTO meeting and then opened a dialogue with me on the subject.

Actually, it's bizarre. Okay, just venting, but I'm really glad we're about done with school things because I'm a little on edge these days and this kind of thing does tug at my impulse to unleash a whole lot of frustration, anger and pent up aggression on people who seem to have missed out on basic social ettiquette.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:57:48 GMT

My sweetie got dizzy again when lifted into the wheelchair. The doctor has decided the blood pressure med he is on is the culprit. When he was so very sick, his blood pressure climbed sky high every day without aggressive medication but now that he's getting so much better, they need to scale back some. So tomorrow should be better.

I'm so glad I'll be able to see him day after tomorrow. He found out we can leave the room and go to a solarium where families visit sometimes. So we won't just be stuck in the room...he'll like that. And I'm taking more than enough clothes to keep him in clothes just fine.

He said someone came by to talk about the social stuff they do in the evenings -- playing cards and having movie night and whatnot. He is thinking about participating in some, but he does tend to be really tired in the evening. So we'll see. It's certainly better than missing us.

Also, the physical therapist showed him just how well his right leg is doing and I think that was very cheering for him. His left leg is still lagging quite a bit, but he'll get there. One inch at a time is fine as long as we're still inching the right way.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:49:00 GMT

I talked to my sweetie again. He had a busy day, but apparently he fainted when being moved from a wheelchair to a commode -- so he's kind of fragile about movement when he's upright. The physical therapist said he was going great, still improving well. The occupational therapist said he was pretty sharp, still a little rough on some short term memory but definitely getting there.

He cried some -- it's so hard for him with us so far away. He's a dear sweet man but I'm probably the one with the most innate...I dunno...courage? Oneryness? Stubborn independence? His sweetness makes it tough for him to face all this alone and that's basically what he's doing. I'm going to see him Sunday but it's just going to be a few hours in a long hard week. I surely wish they hadn't sent him beyond my daily visit range.

I'll be glad when he's home again and we're looking back on this...it's the kind of experience that's best had in the past, not the present. But he's improving and when he comes home, he's going to be my sweetie...whatever physical challenges he might still have, I'll still get HIM back and that's what matters to me.

Apparently the hospital has to set a probable exit date for insurance purposes. They set July 14th or 18th -- sometime that week. Mark found that a horrifying idea but I like the idea of having some sense of when the separation will be over. And he just might beat all predictions. I sure will like having my big old bear home again.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:27:37 GMT

Folks have to be tired of me whining...so no whining tonight. I talked to my beloved and he's tired but it's a good tired. Once again, the physical therapy folks said they saw clear improvement today over yesterday. And he spent longer in the wheelchair as they want him to get used to being upright again. So, no bad things -- only good things.

The server that hosts all things ICL is down so I haven't been able to do a lot of work this week. Next week when the server is back...it might be scary. But this week has been kind of restful actually. Now if I could just sleep at night -- oops, that was kinda whiney wasn't it? I'm trying, really.

My wildilina and I spent some time this afternoon working on projects from the HUGE collection of KLUTZ ARCs I've gotten recently. I liked one of the things really well (a fashion design book/kit) but we decided we hated the thing we worked on today (some "make your own books" kits.) The glue stick packaged with the kits wouldn't hold the stuff together and I must have reglued some things a half dozen times. The ink in the marker packaged with the kit was smeary beyond all measure...I'm not sure but what it might always smear since no amount of waiting or blowing on it seemed to keep it from smearing ink from one page to the facing page. And Wildilina walked out in the middle of the project (something she NEVER does) -- so that's one kit that will not find its way into a DISCOVERY GIRLS review.

We had a blast with their fashion design book/kit though -- that was seriously fun. And Wildilina liked the book/kit about designing your own monster but I don't think that really matches the DISCOVERY GIRLS target audience -- but it was fun.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 01:00:15 GMT

I talked to Mark a little while ago and he had a much better day today. He said he didn't get dizzy when they put him in the wheelchair and he got to practice his wheelchair skills which will give him a little more mobility while they work on his legs. Also, the physical therapist remarked on how much better he was doing with his legs than he was yesterday so he's starting to see improvement which helps too. Also, he did much better with the food and was able to eat well all day. So, just a much better day. He said he still got exhausted from the therapy and all, but his stamina will improve too. He's feeling more optimistic and so I'm feeling so much better. I can handle missing him -- though I miss him like crazy -- but missing him and knowing he's having a really rough time, that was harder.

So -- a good day, a good report, and I'm a happy wifey.

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:16:12 GMT

My honey had another tough day. Apparently he's having a big problem with dry mouth and therefore having some trouble eating. And so he gagged and tossed his breakfast. Then when they did the Hoyer lift to haul him out of bed, it made him so dizzy that sitting in the wheelchair really felt weird, but he did get out of the room in a sitting position which is huge. And they took him for a chest x-ray (I have no idea why). And he did some therapy which wiped him out so much he just slept through lunch.

He says they don't do his laundry. Why would a rehab hospital ask you to bring your own clothes, then give you no way to wash them? That just makes no sense to me. Since I won't be there until Sunday, I'll have to buy a bunch of new clothes to take and then bring all the soiled stuff home with me to wash. After sitting around for a week, considering his ...um...lack of control...well, that's going to be nasty. What if the person doesn't have family? They just eventually throw the clothes away? And, you know, TELLING him that would have been good 'cause he could have held off on wearing things they won't wash until he was...um...more in control.

Oh well, so I dropped a bundle on clothes online and I hope they arrive in time to take them on Sunday -- they've delivered with blinding speed every other time we've ordered so I'm hopeful. I wish he didn't have to wait a week to see me. But maybe he'll have big things to show me when I see him. Mostly tonight he just sounded tired and kind of blue.

No Bunnies Here

**YAWN!**

YAWN!