Why I Never Liked Brady Bunch
I get embarrassed for people. Sometimes when someone does something or says something really stupid and the person doesn't seem to realize how they look or sound, I get really embarrassed for them. I used to get embarrassed for the kids on the Brady Bunch and for the folks in Mayberry. Those were just pretend people but they triggered that feeling of "Oh, no they're going to be so humiliated when they find out!"

Now I sometimes get that way for writers on the Internet -- especially writers who are self-published or are considering self-publishing. I read a lot of blogs and boards and newsletters because I figure part of being the Institute webeditor/guru is knowing what's going on. So I read. And sometimes I get really embarrassed for people. Really.

When I see things like...

"I self-published because publishers aren't interested in new authors..."

"I went with a POD because all the publishers had met their quota of new authors..."

"Publishers weren't interested in my book because I'm not a celebrity..."

"I couldn't afford an agent so I couldn't get published..."

"I couldn't sell my book because it was too clean..."

"I couldn't sell my book because it wasn't Harry Potter..."

Argh. Okay, sure, if a person was a celebrity with decent platform, that person could probably get a crap children's book published. We have seen evidence of that, so that one has some validity. But here's the real story for all of these:

"I self-published because publishers aren't interested in new authors with books that aren't ready for publication."

"I went with a POD because all the publishers had met their quota of new authors with books that won't sell...which is a quota of none."

"I couldn't afford an agent so I couldn't get published because I don't know a thing about publishing and didn't want to take the most minimal time to learn."

"I couldn't sell my book because it was too clean though there are plenty of clean books, but not many of them that aren't written at a competitive level."

"I couldn't sell my book because it wasn't Harry Potter and wasn't...well...good."

Folks are in such a freaking hurry. They write the book. Then rush full tilt to sell it. And then when it doesn't sell by the end of the week, they turn to self-publishing or POD. And the problem 99% of the time was that it really wasn't competitive in today's market. Maybe the person wasn't really up to the level of craft he/she needed to reach (the days of an editor nurturing a shiny bit of talent until it was embedded in good craft are pretty much past). Maybe the person was writing for adults and didn't realize it. Maybe the person confused "things happening" with "plot." Maybe the person let his/her imagination run away with him/her and just assumed the reader would go along for the ride even if the ride was confused and plotless.

But you know what...most of the time the problem was the book. Not every time but darn near every time. But really, most of the folks who actually ARE ready and are just not hitting the right editor yet are probably not turning to vanity presses. Because most of the folks who actually ARE ready have probably educated themselves to the reality of this business. If you've spent the time perfecting your craft and learning about the specific world of children's writing, you've almost certainly learned enough to avoid saying stuff like I see on some of these boards.

Well, I could rant on but the husband is thinking all the clacking of my keyboard means I want to do the grocery list now. Sigh. Oh, and I keep editing for my typos...clearly ranting and spelling requires some level of multitasking I cannot manage.