Jan Fields ([info]cute_n_cranky) wrote,
@ 2009-03-23 14:27:00
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My wild girl loves to read or be read to.
BUT
She totally breaks down and cries, hard, if a character has to say "good-bye" to something. This is something that sneak up on you in a book. We were tooling along reading THREE GOOD DEEDS when suddenly...

[SPOILER ALERT -- DON'T READ FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW]

...the witch who was neither very nice nor very sympathetic, dies. My daughter cried for a good five minutes. I shudder to think how she would handle one of the infinite number of pet-dying novels.

The other night she was reading an article in either RANGER RICK or NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC KIDS (I'm not sure which as we get both). Apparently it was about raising some wild animal and then (oh no)....releasing it back in the wild. I hear wild weeping and run to her room. She hated the idea of loving an animal and having to say good-bye even though she totally knows that animals are happier in the wild. But she felt deeply for the wildlife person and we broken hearted over her loss.

Last night we were reading THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS and Mole had sniffed his home...but Ratty was in a hurry and nearly wouldn't go with him. Finally they went and were glad they did. It was a grand reunion with Mole's old life but he knew he loved his new life even more.

Right -- heart broken crying.

Really, life is a mine field with my daughter. When she was in preschool, they had to call us to come to the school because they showed a happy little movie about a little boy whose dog had puppies and he had to find good homes for them all and did....the teachers had no idea why my wee girlie fell apart during the movie. But as soon as I walked in, I asked what has been going on -- a movie. Did someone have to say good-bye to something in the movie? Yes, but it was a happy scene. Not for my girl.

She used to cry everyday for the preschool goodbye song -- then for the Kindergarten goodbye song. We had to turn the tv off to avoid the Blue's Clues goodbye song (because one can only handle so much emotional crisis).

Recently, we bought her a new bed -- she cried for the old one, not because she still wanted it, but because it was leaving.

It's a constant source of mystery for me. But she is learning to get hold of herself a bit quicker than in the past. Still, you just never know when a good-bye might suddenly leap up and get ya.

Personally I think I'll form a storm-trooper group and begin challenging books on the basis of containing lurking good-byes. Makes as much sense as some of the stuff I've seen.



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[info]susanwrites
2009-03-24 05:08 am UTC (link)
Oh what a sensitive wee girlie you have there. I find it absolutely charming.

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Abandonment issues?
(Anonymous)
2009-04-01 05:58 am UTC (link)
I can understand sensitivity up to a point but Rachel is a bit overboard on this one. Was she this bad before Mark got so sick? I would have to wonder were she has had something die or leave during her short little life that as touched her so that even the though of a bed which she no longer needs or wants is leaving brings her to tears. She's got a long road ahead of her if she doesn't grow out of this soon.

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Re: Abandonment issues?
[info]cute_n_cranky
2009-04-01 10:29 am UTC (link)
She is actually not as bad now as when she was younger and although she was really stressed when Mark was sick and worried, she didn't handle it any extra stressed as you would expect from someone with "good-bye" issues -- her response to it seemed perfectly normal for a child her age.

As she's getting older, she does "recover" better but it's like loss in stories or movies always catches her by surprise and she has no defense against the feelings...so she always cries hard. But with the bed, which she knew we were replacing, she cried a little and only when alone so when she has some time, she has more self-control and isn't swept away by the emotional storm, but I don't know that she *feels* it less and I hate to see her sad.

I do worry because the whole thing is so...inexplicable. There's nothing I can point at and say, "There's where it started." We have always had a very stable life with little conflict in the house. She hasn't lost anyone (with the exception of the goldfish, hamsters, and rotten gourd.). She showed no particular separation anxiety about preschool or the rare babysitter so she doesn't seem to fret about impending loss or the potential for loss. All her life people have commented on what a cheery well-adjusted person she is (well, people who haven't seen her reaction to Steve leaving Blue's Clues).

The only other hypersensitivity she has is to music. When she was an infant she would cry if she heard music in a minor key so I couldn't sing lullabies to her (and by that I don't mean fuss, I mean weep...quiet tears running down her face...as an infant. I'd never seen anything like it. Infants fuss, bellow, squall...but they don't usually weep.) She still experiences that.

We'll talk about it some and she says the good-byes don't make her think of another time or feel like another time...they just make her feel sad.

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